Zero and hooks.

For this shooting planned a way ahead, few artists of all kind have bring their work together. More info on the dedicated page, when I’ll eventually finish the post-prod. Milla Reika, soon to be up in the air by 6 hooks (that are not hook, sorry I’d need the real term), piercing performed by Bonzin san and Milla Reika. The coffin is a genius piece by Guido. All the websites will follow soon, keep on touch.

Maybe I should control the flow of emotions. Those nasty bastards that burn my throat now, tears wouldn’t come out. Too strong ? no. Too deja-vu…

I am finally editing a photo shoot that happened almost a week ago ! OMG, yeah right! Never happened to me before, taking so long. I am using as an excuse for myself, my new schedule at school. But the truth is, I was scared to face ” the day after ” effect. So postponed to a week after, let’s see if it feels better. No. Worst.

Fuck that shit seriously, why going through so much trouble? Do I enjoy it ? Not anymore. I am scared. I feel the limits every time I put a camera in my hand. THE LIMITS. Those bitches : look at you, judge you and say “no trespassing, you kid, where do think you were going to?” Sorry. Sorry I tried. I still want to try but, can I just not look at the result? Can I just feel the freedom of taking a picture for its pure moment of simplicity? Of spontaneity?

In my last shooting, I was so obsessed by the result that I forgot what I really liked about taking pictures of people. I forgot the human being as the masterpiece of art. I didn’t abandon myself to it and I can see it. I can see on the pictures I wasn’t there.

Tea. Ginger biscuits. Weapons to face Lightroom which reveals blur, darkness. Failure. Everything about me is self-destruction around my so called “art”. Every time I wish to meet people’s expectations I go for shortcuts. Arghhhh.

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